This is a beginner’s guide to getting bored quickly in a seriously stunning mountain locale. Upon reading, those on a soul-quest can address the very things they’ve always wanted to – that is, to truly begin real soul searching like they’ve forever claimed or understood to be the consequence of travel. Quickest approaches first.
Observe the same mountain for ten minutes straight
This is a pretty self-evident exercise. If you truly observe a mountain, you will see it for what it really is – the majestic, snow-encrusted pinnacle is just a big lump of water and rock. Wow. It won’t ever be the same again.
Write a poem about the surrounding peaks
Because these mountains are nature’s very own monolithic structures, piercing the stratosphere and stirring up all manner of things in the heart of the observer. So, find a place with a view, a pen and paper and get on it. You’ve probably got some pretty deep feelings about how this is brown people territory and you’re cognisant of your brownness and have noticed the rust of the nearby hills, topped with a dusting of white, white on brown? Is any of this alluding to something profound? Dear God, I’m bored already.
Be aware of garbage
Yeah, even this mountainside diamond has some dirty veins, if you know where to look. So, remain vigilant. And when you do happen upon some refuse, even if it’s just fruit peel, or better yet, dog-do, reflect on it. Like really try to engrave it on your mind. You might find some point of contact between your own nature and the object(s) of your perception. Know that self-loathing is a necessary if not sufficient step towards your final destination.
When faced with objects and views of astounding beauty, think of horrible stuff. Stuff that’s happened to you and stuff you did to the people you love. And like the loathsome monotony of your father’s waffling, it will lead you on a path towards complete and insurmountable boredom.
Stay a few kilometres out of town and walk the same route back and forth
Of course, Manali has killer mountain scenery that shoots straight for the heart. But if you take the same route to the city and back, walking a few kilometres a day, you’d start becoming accustomed to all the magnificence. The walk will tire you, the mountains will bore you and the lack of a pavement and ensuing honks from behind will doubtlessly enrage. But find solace in knowing you’re on the right course.
Get stuck in a snow storm
Plan your visit between December and February so that you may have this world-altering experience. While filled with enchantment for any first-timer, a snowstorm brings with it poor visibility, road and shop closures, and bitter winds all of which make trips beyond your poorly heated room anathema. So, if you aren’t already stocked up on cider, you’d have a miserable time in bed, by the rented heater, yes rented, that does very little to dispel the chill. Therein lies your way.
Another self-evident yet sagacious piece of advice – you would do well to stay until the sheen of Manali magic dissolves. Afterwards, all you will see is just another Indian Himalayan town inhabited by idiots trying to get by and divest you of your money meanwhile. Expect your own self to protrude as the world recedes and then you can start asking the right questions – I trust you know them by now.